Secretly spreading whispers.

April 30 –
May 3, 2k8

Peucang Island…

HERE
I COME!!!!

 *Get adventured again!
Oh gosh I’m so missing the smell of the mountain, the salty water of the beach
and the danger road of the hill.

Can’t
wait. Excited. Thrilled. Patient less. Huhuhu…
Iwed the adventurer has back!!

Kemarin
gw kena sial banget! Gara-gara Pudel [temen kantor] suruh gw ngintipin
si babeh [boss.red] lagi ngapain di ruangannya, gw sampe nabrak partisi!

Kejadiannya
begini, babeh gw itu termasuk Mr. Ring-ring. Kadang gw harus cek dulu
do’i lagi on the line atau ngga, karena ngga enak juga kalo mau ganggu

kan

.
Nah si Pudel ini kayanya mau masuk ke ruangan babeh tapi dia ngga bias
ngintip kira-kira si babeh lg online atau ngga. Jadilah dia nelp gw,

“iwed”

“apa mba?”

“tolong intipin si bapak dong, dia lagi ngapain.”

“lagi online kali..” [padahal segen mau ngintip]

“sebentar aja Wed. Aku ngga bisa liat dari sini.”

“oke oke.”

Maka
dengan lagak sok mau jalan ke arah ruangan Pudel yang emang sebelahan
sama ruangan si babeh, sambil megang CDMA sok ngetik sms, jalanlah gw
pelan-pelan ngelewatin ruangan bapak sambil nengok-nengok curi-curi
pandang ke jendela ruangan do’i.

Jalan
tegak… Ngga keliatan. Ah, nunduk dikit ah.. nah! Kliatan juga! Tapi si
bapak lagi ngapain itu yah? Ngga kaya lagi nelepon, kaya lagi ngetik di
komputernya. Eh tapi kok sambil ngobrol? Berarti dia online dong?

Gw
tetep jalan, lurus… lurus… lurus… Tepat saat gw merasa kalo ada yang
aneh sama arah jalan gw, pas banget waktu muka gw balikin ke depan…

GUBRAK!!!!!!

 Gue nabrak partisi.

Mending
kalo bahu, tangan atau kaki yang nabrak, ini MUKA man, muka!! Idung gw
sampe sakit banget, nyut-nyutan gitu. Mana bunyinya keras banget lagi.
Gw yakin banget lagi melakukan apapun babeh gw di ruangannya pasti dia
kaget juga. Gw buru-buru “memperbaiki” setelan muka, otomatis
clingak-clinguk liatin kira-kira mata siapa yang sempet ngerekam
kejadian memalukan itu di benaknya. Ternyata diujung ruangan deket
pantry si Nawan [

OB

kantor gw] udah ngakak abis-abisan sampe megangin perutnya. Damn it!! Malu berat gw! Gw cuma cengar-cengir ngancem ke dia…

“nyebar ke orang-orang kantor gw hajar loe Wan..” kata gw sambil gosok-gosok idung.

“makanya… Huahahahahaha!! Ngintipin orang mulu sih kerjaan loe”

“Pudel yang nyuruh gw tau!”

“Huahahahahaha, udah disuruh dia yang kena getahnya, hahahaha…” dia ketawa ga slese2 sampe keluar air mata.

Sambil
menggerutu gw masuk ruangan Pudel. Pas gw critain si Pudel ikutan
ngakak sampe nangis. Awalnya gw pikir yang gw tabrak itu partisi
ruangannya Pudel, ternyata ruangan babeh gw!! Untung dia ngga sampe
keluar ruangan sambil mencak-mencak nyari oknum yang membuat keributan
itu, kalo ngga

kan

mampus gw!

Duh
ilah ampe sekarang idung gw masih pegel, nyeri gitu kalo gw pencet.
Penderitaan gw bertambah waktu Pudel saut-sautan status di YM sama
orang-orang kantor lain tentang insiden “iwed dan partisi”
itu. Si Nawan pake nyeletuk, “Sayang ngga ada CCTV disini ngga kaya
dikantor lama, kalo ada udah gw rekam trus gw sebar ke orang-orang
kantor tuh! Hehehe…”

Huh,
padahal mah tinggal ketok aja pintu si babeh trus liat dia lagi sibuk
atau ngga, susah-susah amat pake ngintip ruangannya segala. Untung mata
gw ngga sampe bintitan. Kapok deh ah, Pudel rese.

Duh,
idung gw ngilu… Siyals! Hiks…

~G~

Everything
seems to be going so fast to me. Like a series of pictures sliding each
by each in front of my eyes without giving me any chance to figure out
each meaning of those blurry visualization. Like a wheel rotating in
one spot without making any progress to move forward. Every new
question occurs even before I can answer the previous one. Every
reality comes to me even before I can accept the reality that I was
facing in the previous time. Every new silhouette forming even before
the previous one has completely vanished.
 

Sometimes
I think life is too difficult to understand and to run. I believe that
things happen for reason, though most of the time I couldn’t find any
logical answers to questions I’ve wondered about life, my life. I’m
facing a complicated life these lately days. Tough, yes… But many of
them are the blessing I received from God. But first I have to make
quick adaptations first before I could really get into it.
 

Reality
is like my shock therapy. It hurts. It bites. But it can make me get
back to my consciousness. Reality is a bittersweet chocolate. Reality
is a bottle of red wine. I hate reality and I present my hatred by
getting emotionally involved in it. I hate it by needing it. I hate it
by getting addicted to it. I hate it by cannot living without it.
 

Reality
and dreams are like separated twins. Sometimes I can’t differentiate
between one another. Sometimes I get them twisted. Sometimes I live
with both twins, sometimes I live with none of them and sometimes I
feel they both take my life away.
 

To
be able to differentiate them I just have one simple thing to feel; the
hurter one from the twins is the reality. That is, if you are sane
enough to see the difference. And mostly people lost their sanity when
facing them.
 

Reality bites. It has intoxicating fangs that can set the altitude and sharpness by its own.

*The picture is originally painted by Ayo, GELAP’s keyboardist.

Katamu akhirnya khatam.
Kataku akhirnya khatam.

Kata hatiku bilang ini tambah panjang, jauh dari khatam.

Tapi aku hanya diam. Karena aku menikmati.
Disisi lain kemungkinan, yang dinikmati itu adalah rasa nyeri.
Menggunduk, bergunduk membuat gundukan.

Kau seperti akan mendiamkan.
Mengawasi lembar-lembar menggunduk meninggi.
Aku seperti akan membiarkan.
Menertawai gundukan yang semakin membuat nyeri.

Lalu kita akan memakan lembaran itu bersama-sama.
Seperti tikus-tikus kotor yang kelaparan.
Memakan habis isi cerita dalam tiap sapuan lembar.
Sampai tenggorokan lecet, sampai suara serak.

Orang-orang akan mencemooh kita.
Kita membuat sampah untuk kita telan sendiri.
Kita membuat bau untuk kita hirup sendiri.
Kita membuat luka kesakitan untuk kita rintihi sendiri.

Tapi toh gundukan itu masih rendah.
Masih ada waktu, kita masih bisa bercanda-canda.
waktu akan datang bersama kenyataan.
Bagai air bah di gurun pasir, kita tidak akan siap.

Walau aku sudah bisa mencium bau busuknya dari sini.
Sekarang ini.
Detik ini.
Lembar-lembar itu masih menggunduk.
Masih jauh dari khatam.
Maka tertawalah, sayang.
Kita nikmati saja dulu rasa nyeri, sebelum pedih itu akhirnya melingkupi.

~G~

Anak kecil dengan pistol

Berlarian ke segala sudut ruang

Memegang sepucuk senapan

Dia menyiapkan peluru lalu menarik pelatuk

Dar… Der… Dor!!!

Dia tidak perduli dengan bidikan

Tak mau tahu apakah tepat sasaran

Dia sangat menyukai sensasi yang ditimbulkannya

Reaksi kegaduhan luar biasa yang tercipta

Menghidupkan ketegangan yang sarat akan rasa

Semua berdebar-debar dan menebak-nebak

Kirakah sang peluru mengenainya?

Dia ingin membalaskan dendam

Kepada siapapun yang mencuri senjatanya

Senjata itu terampas darinya, yang paling berharga

Busurnya, panahnya dan sayapnya

Kini tak ada, kini tak bersisa

Pistol inilah yang sekarang dia miliki, senjata jua kah ini?

Entahlah… Yang pasti ini bisa menusuk jiwa

Lebih tajam, menusuk dan mengena

Anak kecil dengan pistol

Menembak kesana-kemari tak beraturan

Dengan peluru runcing memerah

Lebih tajam, menusuk dan mengena

Dia tidak peduli pada bidikan dan sasaran

Dia pun tak tahu aku adalah salah satu korban

Dia hanya ingin balaskan dendam

Karena dia tak bisa lagi menjadi Si Mak Comblang

Tak bisa terbang kembali ke surga

Untuk memberikan laporan cinta pada Sang Kuasa

Anak kecil dengan pistol marah

Dia menembak membabi-buta ke segala arah

DAR… DER… DOR!!!

~G~

It’s
9.24 already, still at the office. Half of the employees are still here
coz they all very busy preparing for the upcoming RUPS LB of BB next
Monday at Intercontinental. It is raining outside now, been stuck here,
all foods have gone.. Gone with the wind of hunger! hahahaha…

Me,
Pudel and Ria feel hungry again tonight. And it is bloody hell cold
inside here. But unfortunately my tummy screams that she wants to have
some ice cream! We called 14045 and ordered some ready-stocked menus.
McFlurry be my choice, and eat the ice cream with predator power while
chatting with any friend I could reach this night on the Messanger, heh
heh…

And I’m still hungry! And it is still raining and cold down here
Udah ujhyan, dingin ngga pyulang-pyulang… Aku jchadi puyeng..

Oh dear… *sigh*

Link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/smu-112/message/2334

A
woman in a black veil stands still she stares away to the limitless sky up the
hill. She can’t find what she’s been searching. All that she found was all
camouflaged visions dissolved with deceiving feelings she catches every one
step she makes ahead – limping. It is as much as she has been hoping for a node
of – even a fake – love from her long-just-like-forever waited man of her
dream. Intoxicating confusion dares nothing for her, appears without any pain
for she knows that none of those feelings she could gain.

A
woman in a black veil walks, feels her anxiety yawning and thundering like the
sound of quint-toms befitted with the marching squad in the land of
tribulation. It creates spooky echoes all around it gets even spookier when she
cries – almost screams – with deadly piteous wails comes out from her mouth.
She’s likely to re-question her desires to the unseen Lord, re-demand her
claims and re-assertion her wants as she will chase them to wherever the end
is.

With
smile that only she can make, faith that only she can keep and hope that only
she can pursue, she remains alive most likely because she forces it. As to hope
all things will finally revealed, even when it finally does, nothing left from
her… not even her heart, the warmest side.

~G~

*Dedicated to Rara, my Black Kruznik sister [Thanks for the picture, sist... -Love-]

Tumpuanku sekarang hanya pada Liverpool…

Setelah Milan dengan tragisnya dibantai Arsenal…

Fiuhhh, untung Inter juga dibantai Liverpool [makasih Torez, muachh!]

When you walk through a storm
hold your head up high
And don’t be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho’ your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone,
You’ll never, ever walk alone.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart