He glanced at me..No time recognizingHe then smiled.. glanced at me twice, longer..Have I seen him? That mystery, someone no one knows

I stared at him, recognizing..My head dizzied..The earth movedTurn to black he wasTook every breath with difficulty

Don't..No..NeverLeave me alone in this world of lie..World of evil..World of death

He stared..smilingStill..the mystery hadn't been solvedBut, Oh..i loved himHipnotized by those amazing eyesThose remarkable smilesHadn't been touched..Neither by the devil nor the hatred

Turn to fade he wasHeld my arm tightly with his weak and small fingersMy head spinnedThe earth moved

He took every breath with difficulty..Brought angels to comePicked him..Took him

Turn to death he was..Those amazing eyes were closedOh, I loved him..But the world lie still..Oh, I didn't want to let go this fingersBut the world remains lie still..

This God's angel went home..Finally recognizes meKnows meIn heaven..

For my beloved nephew: Muhammad Willdan Agdana"if angel appears on you..I'll thank God for the bless to ever love you"

As I walked into the darkness of the avenue
With agony went after me…
Suddenly I was clogged by a sound
Such a beautiful piece of music was played

I felt something wintry within my heart
This music made me want to depart from this world
This dismal completed my glum
This euphony crammed my lacuna

Oh…who is she?
Came from out of nowhere and flew straight to me
A gorgeous form, a perfect picture of veracity

I finally figured out where this euphony came from
Comprehended what kind of music is this
I felt breathless…Out of the blue
My soul was vanishing…

Oh mother…Wish you know how thankful I am to have you in my life
Oh father…Wish you understand I never aimed to habitually clashed you
"I Love You" is all I wanted to say, Mom
"I’m sorry" is all I wanted to shrieked at you, Dad
Don’t want to end like this, but God has calling my name

Should I take her hand?
Or should I not?
Stay still…Fading…
And my angel’s still waiting…

"Terri Fletcher (Hilary Duff) is a small town girl with big time dreams. Blessed with a naturally joyful singing voice, Terri has her sights set on attending the Bristol-Hillman Conservatory in Los Angeles - the most celebrated summer music program in the country. Although she has plenty of raw talent, her lofty aspirations are quickly dashed by her overbearing father, Simon (David Keith), and the tragic loss of her beloved brother, Paul (Jason Ritter), who had secretly submitted a demo video of Terri that results in an acceptance letter to join the prestigious program."

A despondent Terri resigns herself to staying home for the summer when her mother Frances (Rita Wilson) and Aunt Nina (Rebecca De Mornay) intervene and covertly devise a plan to keep her from missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

Upon her arrival in Los Angeles, Terri is quickly introduced to the ultra-competitive, high-stakes environment of the big city. Lacking any formal training, she struggles to make friends and to find her voice amongst the highly-gifted group of musical students. Mentored by Mr. Torvald (John Corbett), Terri pushes herself to prepare for her final performance, which will determine the winner of the school’s $10,000 academic scholarship.

Although this isn’t an outstanding movie, but I learned a lot from it. Just the same as Terri Fletcher, I dreamt to be a singer. Music is me & my soul, my diary…Being a singer & writing down my heart feeling into a lyric is all I wanted to do since I was 3 years old. But my dad doesn’t seem to support my dream, even though he doesn’t extremely disagree (Becoz actually he likes my voice, but he thinks that being a singer is not a dream but nothing more than a hobby :() so he still allowed me to join the school & college’s choir and also a band.

Having experienced to study music like in this movie, I remembered the first time I followed that kind of music performance. The rehearsal was a tough time, like everything I did was wrong to my vocal teacher’s judgment. I had had my voice gone becoz of too much practising. Sometimes I broke down and had a lack of confidence to perform on stage (oh, I used to have a deadly stage-fever :D). But all my hard works had been paid when I sang on stage. It’s an extraordinary feeling…A magical thing.

After watched this movie, I suddenly craved to study music more serious in a formal art academy and refresh my guitar ability (it’s been more than 5 years I stopped playing guitar. Plus I have desire to be a drummer :D) but I guess the idea of this "art-academy" thing is a bit impossible to accomplished. Besides I’ll be busy with my college stuffs and so on (you know..girl thang! Wekekek…) I feel less comfortable sucking up my parents’ cash again..especially these recent days. I’m 21 and yet still can’t live my life by my own. Ashamed…it’s all that matter. Maybe for the next couple of years as I’ve succeed on reaching my independent life (wealthy one of course), I can seize my dream to study music formally…Hopefully ^-^

Amiiiinnn….Hehehe

- Goddess -

The wind blowed my face
Dried my tears
But couldn’t do anything to integrate this puzzle back

This puzzle has been torned to pieces
Been ripped out like a dozen useless trashes
I looke upon the cold breezing stars
Spread out…No shape
Just like the puzzle..
The puzzle of my heart

This freedom of mine
Has gone with my tears
This freedom of the human
Has been stolen by the gun

I tried to blocked those screams
And convinced myself that everything’s okay
I tried not to turning back
And acted like they were fine

Those bloods..And i fell
Those piece of fleshes..And i cried
Those screams..And i hurt
This freedom..Of mine has gone
Of them has gone…

God Almighty…
Secure them, love them
Please..
Holy Allah..The Merciful
Open the window of heaven for them
Unlock their jails
Please..

Free us..
Free them…
For the FREEDOM !!
The freedom itself

Amin…

kelam..Suram

Jangan tatap angkasa itu

Gelapnya tak kunjung hilang

Pilunya tak kunjung berkurang

Ku tahu itu salah, dia pun tahu itu berdosa

Salah siapa? Dia yang membuat senja itu tak lagi indah

Dia yang menyebabkan dingin itu menyiksa

Dia yang menyebabkan matahari berkuasa

Ia membuat arah…bertarung dengan angin

Ia membuat hukum…bertarung dengan Tuhan

Ia membuat dunia…bertarung dengan alam

Ia membuat masa depan…bertarung dengan takdir

Hangat tak lagi bersahabat dengannya

Asa tak lagi mau menyemangatinya

Kerendahan hati tak lagi bisa melindunginya

Sombong yang sekarang menjadi sahabatnya

Topeng yang sekarang menjadi pelindungnya

Riya yang sekarang menyemangatinya

Gelap…redup…

Jangan tatap mata itu

Kemunafikannya menyayat hati

Kebohongannya menimbulkan emosi

Serasa di puncak dunia

Menutupi wajah penuh kebusukan…

Berlindung dibalik topeng kecantikan

Menutupi hati yang penuh kemungkaran…

Berbalut busana penuh kehormatan

Hitam menjadi putih

Bohong menjadi benar

Neraka menjadi surga

Iblis menjadi malaikat

Palsu menjadi asli

Munafik menjadi tulus

Terperdaya olehnya…

Insan tak lagi berakal sehat

Terpenjara oleh kata-katanya…

Kitab tak lagi pegangan akhirat

Oh Tuhan…sadarkanlah dia

Oh surga…jangan jauhi dia

Oh alam…kasihanilah dia

Oh manusia…jangan ikuti dia

Biarlah kegelapan menyusulnya

Biar dingin merasukinya

Relakan hitam menjadi dirinya

Relakan iblis memeluknya

Membalut kelamnya dalam tangis

Mengusir deritanya dalam jerit

Menebus salahnya dalam darah

Membungkus jiwanya dalam kematian…

For someone out there who is standing on earth…

Please consider one thing..You’re not everything

Moreover..You’re N.O.T.H.I.N.G